i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
