and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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