i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
