How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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