3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Let's get the cat blown out
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
