i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
