I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
