At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
this is an emotional support booty call
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
