The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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