OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
