It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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