That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
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