Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Where did you get a picture of my penis
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
