yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Naked Twister starts at high noon
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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