I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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