put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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