What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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