Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
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