I saw his package. It spoke to me.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize