I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
