I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
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you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
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Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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