haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
