i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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