don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
