absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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