You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
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Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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