I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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