Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
