you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
