I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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