your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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