Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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