ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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