ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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