So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
