If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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