We won't sleep together?
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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