Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
just tell him i said nine months
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
