hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
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