none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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