i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
