No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Randomize
