hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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