Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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