"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
