i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
