whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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