I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Randomize
