Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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