How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
You should frame my arrest warrant.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
