One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize