I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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