$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
