yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
