btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
