it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize