The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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