I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Randomize
