he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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