its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
