That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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