discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Randomize
